S.E. Asia p.4

Leave hotel so stupid early but baguette game here is on point and this make me happy. If you ask for bread, you get a baguette. I've realized there is one type of bread in this world and it is baguette. Elongated flaky goodness that is accommodating to condiments or any sandwich topping ever. The baguettes punch line is that even on its own it puts a pb&j on white in the corner.

Hotel calls the homie Venna to pick me up for the sunrise at Angkor Wat. It's still dark out and feels like we're going in circles.

A few miles from the hotel we get to the ticket booth and I buy three day pass for $50. They even take my picture to put on the pass. Very official. 

Venna drops me off and I find a chill spot to wait for the sun. I keep waiting and it gets brighter but no defining moment because it's all cloudy. Still neat with everything coming to life. I move on.

The temple is huge and it takes a good minute to see everything. The most upper tier is closed off which is total dookie. After cruising around I see some chicks giggle in German up there which inspires me to go up anyways. The view is great but I used film so have to hold out on that.

Low key Jenga

Chilly pond w lillies ou fron

Hitting it from tha back

I treat myself to an iced coffee at one of these cafe/vendor things they have nearby with names like Tiger Woods, James Bond, Harry Potter, etc. Lara Croft was obvious choice.

After we go see Olmec and sketchy dude grabs me but I have one of those tokens so he let me go. Angkor Tom is also big and I take my time walking to three different temples.

We stop at our first turd temple that doesn't do much for me. I do meet my first tour guide that tries to get money out of me too. He tells me all this really basic stuff and how to say a few things in Khmer.

The next temple we go to is the one I've been hyping up in my head. My GT 500 if I was Nick Cage. Gatsby's Daisy. The proverbial one that got away. Ta Prohm.

Unfortunately it's covered in mouth breathers. A rando creeper guy tells me to follow him so I (duh) follow him. I know he's going to ask for money but fuck this crowd yaddamean? We climb over a wall and the crowd is gone. A big part of the temple is all caved in so you just climb over it.

There is one spot I wait something ridiculous like almost 30 minutes hopeful that people will clear out for 3 seconds but no. Tourists are hella good at loitering and I'm only able to get a so-so shot of a hallway that is covered in roots that Lara Croft jams through. I find Venna and dip back to Golden Temple Villa. 

I walk around the marketplace for a minute and get a camo jacket. I use the point and shoot mostly so not many pics except my favorite freaks.

Getting four hours of sleep finally kicks in and I fall asleep to adventure time muted and Simpsons on the iPad.

S.E. Asia p.3

Wake up early again because of jet lag and no idea how to get to the main event of my trip, Siem Reap. I overheard someone the first night talk about a direct bus from the northern bus terminal in Bangkok so I get a cab and head there.

When I enter the terminal something bizarre happens. Everyone gets hit with freeze ray and chanting music starts. It must've been the national anthem but even when you see that shit at a football game there's always someone rebelling. Not here 100% from everyone. I bet people stopped peeing when they heard it.

Of course the bus I want is sold out but there's space on the one to Poipet (border town). There is insane lady screaming and getting kicked out and dragging chairs with her the whole time I wait for the bus. Board bus and they give everyone snack boxes with shortbread cookies<3.

Our first pit stop I pee at an outside urinal. Very chill there should be more of these. More importantly I see my first Monster logos on a sticker pack so I buy it. We get back on the bus and leave a person behind but they run up to us at the first traffic light.

Bus drops us off at some godforsaken marketplace a mile from the actual border. Scam although I take my first tuk tuk to the border where I'm taken to an office where I get a shared taxi to Siem Reap. I stress though because I pay first and since when do you pay for a cab before you're in it.

Line after line to get across border but the people I'm sharing a cab with are the chilliest. Gabriella is from Bulgaria and her BF Alfredo is from Milan. I ask if they've been to Venice and they say no because if you go there before you're married you'll break up.

After border we take a bus another mile to a transit place where all the cars are at. More waiting ensues until our guy shows up. Finally leave but have to get gas. And the road to Siem Reap has seen better days. Two hours is advertised for the drive but it takes about three and a half.

I fall asleep at some point and wake up when we stop. Of course we're not at my hotel and there is tuk tuk waiting to take me (scam). I say bye to my fav couple and check in at the Golden Temple Villa.

S.E. Asia p.2

I wake up early but this good because I have no idea what I'm doing (macro) today (micro). There's an office building next door to the. Hostel with a coffee shop and an ATM emporium so I go there to plan.

Some dingus I saw when I went outside.

First I need a driver because only here for one day. Google reveals Bobstransports. Give them a call and they're soooo down. I decide to head for Tiger Temple because duh, when else can I pet a tiger mid-back to base of the tail firmly?

It does cross my mind that this sounds fairly exploitative you know with tigers being magical big wild animals. My gut tells me this is bad but the prospect of chilling with tigers overrides this. I go to see what interwebs has to say before home brew picks me up. Everything I read sounds fairly subjective which honestly just makes me want to go even more so I can make the judgement for myself.

We make a pit stop at this tourist trap thing called the Death Railway which is like some bridge Japan built in WWII that people died working on. Not the most fascinating thing in the world, but I play ball and walk across it. There's a marketplace right next to it where I stop for lunch. There's also a leopard chilling by some swimwear and some shades I buy.

I'm not completely retarded though because this definitely sets a red flag off. No way does this fool like sitting on a coffee table all day with no heady art books. There's also 2 cubs in cages behind him which isn't very fun either. However, I'm not not going to take a selfie in front of this obscenity. Plus, it's not like I tipped him and promoted this sort of thing. Where was I going again?

Oh right the not so transparent tiger sanctuary/photo booth/zoo.

This species could totally become extinct in ten years and that's a huge bummer. Watching them play like house cats was pretty awesome but not where they belong I suppose. The whole thing seems more complicated than people want it to be. Like is this where otherwise would be extinct animals will end up? Stuck entertaining tourists with no chance of returning to the wild? If we're going to keep being fuckers and it's this or no more Indochina tigers, obviously the former sounds better. Oh, and people that care about endangered animals that eat meat? Huh?

As for abusive handlers and poor living conditions I didn't get that vibe. If a zoo focuses on just one or two of these beasts and there's 100+ here, granted this space is much bigger than any zoo enclosure, could they be cared for adequately? The cats seemed pretty into it. Again though you want to free Willy, not watch a sad housewife straddle Willy for her Facebook's 37 friends.

But I digress.

After this moral dilemma, we head back to Bangkok. First to the Temple of Dawn and then take a ferry across the river to the Grand Palace complete with giant reclining Buddha.

I get dropped off and see a cork board with a vegetarian places to eat recommendation. I can actually only find one and it's Indian food. They don't have a menu but why would I need one when they're serving Indian food style pizza.

On the way back I grab some beers to drink in the hostel's chill spot where I do exactly what it was intended for.

S.E. Asia p.1

The Sandbox holiday party was so much fun I wake up an hour and fifteen minutes before my flight. Get a car before I blink and brush my teeth. Leave studio at 8am.

Driver is going all safely over hazardous pebbles and minute bumps and it's driving me loko. Totally my fault though right?? Somehow we get to JFK at 8:30. Thank Obama there's no line for Cathay Pacific. Security is a different story. Big line and I'm sweatin' it. I take comfort in the fact the line is getting longer for newcomers.

As if all of this isn't boring enough I board at 8:45 and a bomb of relief blows my head off.

I watch Red 2 (dope), Despicable Me 2 (haven't seen first one, but I'm all like fuck it), Turbo (also dope), some movie about a worthless tween and Steve Carell is his Mom's verbally abusive BF, New Year's Eve (Love Actually>), and an episode of Community. Guy next to me (breathe?) smells bad for all of this. 

Sixteen hours later I land in Hong Kong. At JFK we spent a month on the runway with super soakers defrosting shit and land an hour late so of course I have to freak out again. I cut some lines and people don't like that so I finger them. I mean I give them the finger. I get to my gate and my next flight is delayed an hour too. The struggle wasn't even real.

I get some noodles and beer in the meantime. After both those things are inside of me I realize this is a huge mistake because I'm hungover still and the little teaspoons of water they give you on the plane have little effect on my salted peanut brain. Wait another month in line at the Starbucks by my gate and I'm the last one to board.

Hong Kong to Thailand is only two hours and twenty five minutes so no movies and hella Community. I have the bulkhead seat so the tray thing is all weird and somehow I spill a little beer on myself and dude next to me freaks out and gets a new blanket and moves a seat over. I finger him too.

Takes forever to get to customs and more forever to get through the line. Get some Baht and jump in a cab that takes me to my hostel.

I'm so frigging tired but I try my hardest to stay up since it's only 8pm and loiter in the hangout area. After refreshing Instagram 100+ times I succumb to the cousin of death on the top bunk in my coed sleeps ten room.